SHISHIO BEATS KENSHIN!
by Pechan
Summary: My first non-saito fic, i guess. anyways, boredom makes you do god awful things, so i created this. Here, Shishio can never beat Kenshin physically, so he'll beat him financially by suing him. OOCness, too. ALMOST DONE.
1. Default Chapter

**Pechan owns NOTHING!! Hey, my first NON-SAITO fic that I will publish!! Of course, this one sucks, but I'm not forcing you to read it. And I haven't been on for a while, so I feel I had to post something, even if it is a pile a cr@p.  
  
~~The Plot~~  
  
(Shishio has just been defeated by Kenshin, as is brooding in his big not so secret base, pissin' and moanin' about his big loss. And the other Juppongatana are there and alive just for kicks.)  
  
Shishio: BLAST THAT KENSHIN!! Soon....soon I shall have my revenge!!! Who's with me?!!!  
  
Aoshi: ............  
  
Cho: Rootin' tootin'!!  
  
Kamatari: As long as I can keep wearing panties, I'm fine!!  
  
Other Juppungatana: Okie dokie!!  
  
Sojiro: (smiling absently)  
  
Shishio: Very well, then!! Now, let us go forth, and wreck havoc on all those miserable souls in Tokyo!!  
  
Hoji: I believe we're in Kyoto, sir.  
  
Shishio: Who the hell asked you?!!  
  
Yumi: Ooooh, you know, Lord Shishio, all this talk about revenge is making me hot!!  
  
Shishio: No time for love, slut!! For now, I must go... and KILLLLLLL HIIIMMM!!!  
  
Everyone: HURRAH!! (charges out with Shishio)  
  
~~thirty minutes later~~  
  
Shishio: FOILED AGAIN!! No matter, I shall learn from my mistakes, and kill him when he least expects it!!!  
  
Anji: Why? We're just gonna get our @$$ess handed to us again.  
  
Hoji: You fool!! No one must speak against Lord Shishio!! Isn't that right, lord Shishi-  
  
Shishio: Shut up, Hoji. I'm thinking............................................. OH!! Maybe.... if we get him from behind!!!  
  
Yumi: Oh, that's such a sexy idea!!  
  
Shishio: Hell yes!! And it'll work this time!! (pulls out sword) SALLY FORTH!!!  
  
Everyone: WOOOO HOOOOO!!!!  
  
~ten minutes, tops~  
  
Kamatai: Damn. Who knew he had such good hearing?  
  
Shishio: Well, NONE of this would've happened is SOMEONE hadn't shouted, "YA'LL GONNA GET A LICKIN' NOW, BATTOUSAI!!"  
  
Chou: Well shoot, if I din't tell him, we'd get sued.  
  
Shishio: (lifts head up) Sued?  
  
Chou: Well, yeah. Don't ya know if you don't give the poor sap a fair warnin', ya'll gonna get thrown in the horse pistol?  
  
Kamatari: Isn't a horse pistol a hospital?  
  
Shishio: (jumps up) THAT'S IT!!!  
  
Anji: Actually, a horse pistol can also be used as a word for jail, since when horses die in hospitals, a guy can die in jail, so he-  
  
Shishio: (kicks him) No!!! We can FINALLY BEAT at the Battosai!! Financially!!  
  
Yumi: (eyes sparkle) OH, lord Shishio!! That's amazingly brilliant!!  
  
Shishio: Damn straight!!  
  
Sojiro: Boy, I can't wait for puberty!!  
  
Everyone: Here here.  
  
~~And thus, the next morning, Shishio shows up in front of kenshin's house, in a body cast~  
  
Sano: Well, you can't really call it a body cast. It looks exactly the same as what he was already wearing.  
  
Shishio: SHUT UP!! I am suing you, Himura!!  
  
Kenshin: For what, that I ask?  
  
Shishio: For hurting me!!  
  
Kenshin: ................... ummm.... Okay. Why all of a sudden, that I ask?  
  
Shishio: Mwa ha haaaaa... prepare to weep, battosai!! I'm suing you for all the money you have!!!  
  
Kenshin: Gasp!! No!! You don't mean....  
  
Shishio: Yes!!! 567 yen!!! BWAA HAHHAAH AHAHAHA HAAAAA!!! Oh, and I'll be taking that sword too.  
  
Kenshin: Egads, no!! It's mine, that it is!!  
  
Kaoru: Yeah, ya big meanie!! You can't do that to my Ken!!  
  
Shishio: (holds up lawsuit) Oh yeah?!! Read 'em and weep!!!  
  
Kensuin: (reading) ............ burglary? Plagiarism?!! Rape?!!!  
  
Shishio: Yeah, I'm suing you double for that!!  
  
Megumi: This is nuts!! Sir Ken isn't guilty of any of this, and nothing you can do can prove it!!  
  
Shishio: Oh yeah?!! Yumi, bring in my lawyer!!!  
  
Saito: (struts in) 'Sup?  
  
Kenshin: What?!!  
  
Megmui: Hey, you're a police officer!! Not a lawyer!!!  
  
Saito: Police, lawyer, what's the difference? And I'm here to prove that that idiot of a Battousai is guilty.  
  
Sano: You just say that cuz you hate him!!  
  
Saito: No, I have discriminating evidence. See? (holds up picture of Kenshin)  
  
Everyone: (screams)  
  
Yahiko: EEEEEEEW!! HE'S EXPOSING HIMSELF!!  
  
Kenshin: THAT ISN'T MY BODY, THAT IT ISN'T!!!  
  
Saito: Prove it.  
  
KJenshin: I'm not that hairy,!! And I'm not African American, either!! You just pasted my face on some random chocolate gigalo, that you did!!  
  
Sano: (still grimacing) How is that supposed to be evidence?!!  
  
Saito: It isn't. I was just fooling around on the computer. By the why, the highest score on Solitare is labeled at 23442089 POINTS UNDER HAJIME SAITO!! BOOYA!! (pokes Shishio) Stick THAT in your pipe and smoke it!!  
  
Shishio: (smoking opium in his lil' pipe) I am!!! (flicks it away) BWA HA HAAA!!!! SEE YA TOMMORROW, BATTOUSAI!! AND BRING THE MONEY TO BACK YOU UP FOR BAIL, HYAA HAH AHAHA HAAA!! (nods to Yumi) Hey, when you wheel me out, do it backwards!! That way, I can laugh at him as I go!!  
  
Yumi: (sigh) You are SO cool, Lord Shishio!!  
  
Shishio: Yeah yeah, whatever. (laughs at Kenshin as he is whisked away)  
  
Kenshin: .......................... oro?  
  
Saito: Well, I guess I'll be hittin' the ol' dusty trail. (pulls out white wig) By the way, I'm the judge too.  
  
Everyone: WHAT?!!!  
  
Sano: I thought you were the lawyer!!!!!  
  
Saito: Yeah, me too. (after long awkward pause, he struts out) Well, see ya.  
  
Kaoru: What are we gonna do, Kenshin?  
  
Kenshin: (sweats) I don't know, that I do. I can only hope Pechan stops writing this fic. She never makes me look as cool as I am, that she doesn't!!  
  
Pechan: Oh please, between sexy Saito and sex machine Hiko, THERE IS NO YOU!! They shoulda redid the series, cut you out, fill it with PLENTY of Sexy Saito and Hot Hiko, and called it 'HOT MEN OF THE MEIJI'.  
  
Sano: Cool!! What would I do in the series?  
  
Pechan: ................... I think you're missing the point to the title.  
  
Yahiko: What about Aoshi? Isn't HE supposed to be cool?  
  
Pechan: I dunno with Aoshi yet. He seems too depressed for sexy. Ah cr@p, here I go trailing off again. I'll pick this up where I left off depending on how bored I am, or by popular demand. (I'm probably gonna end up going at it after boredom. Oh, woe is me, the tragedies of a teenage girl that has a -2 GPA. Sigh, I say!! SIGH!!) 


	2. the Middle

** PECHAN OWNS NOTHING!! (oh, and this script fics I spell check myself, because they're not all that important to spell check.)  
  
~ the Middle ~  
  
**If you all bothered to read this fic, shame on you!! It's filled with nothing but nonsensical cr@p that only two inmates at an insane asylum fighting over a pudding cup would read. However, I applaud your attempt at trying to decipher the randomness!! Anyways, when we left off, Shishio is suing Kenshin for numerous things, but mainly for injuries, and stuff. And the worst part is that the lawyer/judge is Hajime Saito, who doesn't like Kenshin very much at all, and will probably be bringing himself a noose rope because Kenshin will probably be found guilty. And Kenshin has no lawyer in sight!!  
  
Will Kenshin win this case?!  
  
Will Shishio get exact revenge?!!  
  
Will Kenshin ever get out of that habit of repeating himself, that he will!?!?  
  
Will the author ever shut up about how easy it is to beat Sano, because everyone has?!!  
  
Sano: Hey, you're very biased!!  
  
Pechan: Oh please. I'm as biased as you're dumb.  
  
Sano: (scratches his head) Huh? I don't get it!!  
  
Pechan: Exactly. Alright, let's pick up here we left off!!  
  
~~ at the Kamiya dojo ~~  
  
Kaoru: Oh Kenshin, what will we do? If you lose the case, we're going to lose all our money!!  
  
Kenshin: Well, we never really had money to begin with, that we didn't.  
  
Sano: No time to worry about money!! We need to get a lawyer!! One who is just, and will forever defend Kenshin!! (looks at Megumi) You. Go look up Aoshi Shinomori in the phonebook!!  
  
Kenshin: OROROROR-  
  
Megumi: What are you doing, Sano?! We have no money to hire a lawyer, and Aoshi wants to kill Sir Ken!!  
  
Sano: See, that's the beauty of it!! In exchange for his services, we'll tell Aoshi that if he wins us the case, we'll let him kill Kenshin!! No money lost, and most importantly, we beat Shishio!!  
  
Yahiko: That's just crazy enough to work!!  
  
Kenshin: Are you people INSANE!? I COULD GET KILLED, THAT I COULD!!  
  
Sano :................ Point being?  
  
Kenshin: O_O  
  
(so unfortunately for Kenshin, no one really cared about him. Anyways, we'll put the focus back on shishio where it began)  
  
Shishio: BWA HAHAHA HAHAHA AHAHAHAAHHA HAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAA AHHAHAHA HAHAHAHAA AAAAAAAHAHAHHAHA AHAHHAH AHAAHA AH AHA AHA AHAHAHAHAHA AHA AHAHAH A AHAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHA AHAH AHAHAHAH AHA AH HAHA (gasp) KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AHAHHAHAHAHHAAHHA HA HA HA HA HAHA HA AAH-  
  
Houji: While I appreciate your magnificent evil laughter, Lord Shishio, what are we to do about Himura the Battousai?  
  
Shishio: The hell are you talking about? The only lawyer in Japan is right here!! (holds up sake to Saito) Hey buddy drink up!! This one's on me!!  
  
Saito: Thank you, but I'll have to decline. You see, whenever I drink, I get very violent and have an urge to kill people. So I've been cutting back during the Meiji Era.  
  
Kamatari: Uuuhhhhh, but you killed Usui.  
  
Saito: (looks down at bloody sword he's holding) Oh, right.  
  
Shishio: That whole 'I can't drink cause I get violent' cr@p won't cut it. What's the real reason?  
  
Saito: Well, okay. I got into a stag party with the guys, drank a few...... hundred, and then woke up the next morning with some crazy lady sleeping on top of me with a wedding ring. So yeah, there you have it. I ain't ever getting drunk again after that!!  
  
Kamatari: Awwww, isn't love sweet?!  
  
Shishio: That wasn't love, you freak, that was- what the hell do you call that? That story was just plain stupid!!  
  
Saito: Well, SORRRRRRY. You aren't paying me to tell you a story. I'm here to defend your extra crispy @$$.  
  
Soujiro: (holds up KFC bucket) It's the Colonel's secret recipe!! Hyuk!!  
  
Shishio: Soujiro!! I thought I told you to stop eating that gaijin cr@p!! Once we take over Japan, we'll take over the world!!  
  
Anji: Uhh, why would we wanna do that?  
  
Shishio: (shrugs) Who cares? I'm bad @$$, that's all that matters.  
  
Kamatari: Here here!!!  
  
Saito: (rolls eyes)  
  
~~ Back to the dojo ~~  
  
Sano: Hey, Kenshin!! Great news!!  
  
Kenshin: Aoshi won't kill me, that he won't?  
  
Sano: Hmm? Ah no, he's gonna bust you up so bad, but he said he'll throw in roaming charges if you agree to wear this apron!! (holds up apron) The pink matches your hair.  
  
Kenshin: What are roaming charges?  
  
Sano: Who gives a sh!t? Alls I know is, I'm getting a good deal!!  
  
Megumi: Have you even thought this through, pillow biter?!! I mean, how are we going to prove Sir Ken's innocent if the jury's.................. say, who is the jury?  
  
Sano: Well, Miss Tae, Tsubame, Katsu, Yutaro, Jinei, ummmm, that girl that's always stalking Kenshin besides Kaoru-  
  
Kaoru: Hey, I WASN'T STALKING HIM!! I just saw a stain on his cheek, that's all.  
  
Sano: Oh sure, I bet all you were looking at yesterday was a big stain on his crotch, too-  
  
Kaoru: SHUT UP!!  
  
Yahiko: Ewww, it's dirty on two levels.  
  
Kenshin: OROROROROROROROROROROROR-  
  
Sano: Yeah, Kenshin!! When the judge asks you to state your case, just do that. Maybe it'll confuse him and buy us some time!  
  
Kenshin: What do you mean, 'buy us some time'? I'm innocent, that I am!! You don't think I'd actually rape Shishio, that you do?!!  
  
Sano: Gee, I dunno. Saito's evidence was pretty convincing-  
  
Kenshin: IT WAS A BLACK GUY'S BODY, FOR CHRIST'S SAKES, THAT IT WAS!!  
  
Sano: I know. How are we gonna top that?  
  
Yahiko:....................... hey!! We can paste Shishio's face on some random body, too!!  
  
Sano: Sounds bulletproof!! Let's hop to it!!  
  
(so they hop to it)  
  
Megumi: I swear to God, those guys were dropped on their heads when they were little. 


	3. the Trial

** PECHAN OWNS NOTHING!!  
  
(the pain's almost over!! I'm gonna wrap this up already. If everyone noticed I bash on EVERYBODY. Only to be fair, of course!! So if your mad because I make Misao or Sano an idiot, well, it's because they are. HAH!! And besides, this fic's not meant to be taken seriously.)  
  
~ the Trial ~  
  
Kenshin: (in a pink apron) Aoshi better be a damn good lawyer, that he better.  
  
Sano: I can't wait to see Saito!! I'mma challenge him again, and I'm gonna WIN this time!! (cracks knuckles)  
  
Megumi: Yeah. WHATEVER moron.  
  
Misao: (waves to Aoshi) HEY, LORD AOSHI!! LOOK, LOOK!! I became the stenographer so that we may be closer together!! I LOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU!!  
  
Aoshi: (shudders) ......... like a little parasite...  
  
Usui: Order in the courts, ORDER IN THE COURT!! (pounds gavel) Now, are there any questions before we begin?  
  
Sano: Yeah. How the hell did you become the judge? Wasn't Saito supposed to be the judge? And didn't he kill you yesterday?  
  
Saito: (shrugs) I say lots of things.  
  
Kaoru: Why IS he the judge, anyways?! Anji makes a better judge than him!!  
  
Anji: You think so, wouldn't you? Yet, Buddha will never forgive my sins, as I have killed so many lives. (sniffle) All those children are covered in blood!! WAAA-(and the giant ton of muscle and steroids breaks down into heartrending sobs about the children. God, what a wuss)  
  
Everyone: .............  
  
Kaoru: On second thought, maybe not.  
  
Megumi: Usui's still an idiot!! Why's he the judge, again?  
  
Shishio: Cuuuuuuuuuuz justice is blind!!? DUH!! Stupid broad.  
  
Megumi: HEY!!!!  
  
Yumi: (rubs up against Shishio) Oh Shishio, I WANT YOU NOW!!!  
  
Shishio: Hell yeah, you KNOW IT!!  
  
Usui: Hey!! (pounds gavel) I SAID ORDER!! ORDER DAMMIT!! WHY WON'T YOU PEOPLE GIVE ME AN ORDER?!!  
  
Saito: We've been quiet for the passed few seconds, dumb@$$. Just say the Battousai's guilty so I can get back home to slam with my wife.  
  
Usui: Oh, okay. The court hereby grants Shishio-  
  
Kaoru: Hey, it can't end like this!!! Defense, DEFENSE!!  
  
Usui: Okay okay, calm down, psycho. (nods to Shinomori) Alright man, try and prove he's innocent.  
  
Aoshi: (clears throat) As you can see-  
  
Misao: WHOOOOOOOOOO!!! GO LORD AOSHI!! WOOT!! W00T, I SAY!!  
  
Aoshi: (glares) Anyways, back to my-  
  
Misao: OH OH, START THE CASE BY SAYING HOW HOT YOU ARE!! PLEASE, LORD AOSHI-  
  
(and in just a matter of seconds, Misao was chucked out of the nearest window)  
  
Saito: Wow. Nice toss, Shinomori.  
  
Aoshi: Thank you. (clears throat) As I was saying, the evidence that Mr. Saito has provided with the court is entirely false, and done on Photoshop on his very own computer.  
  
Saito: Preposterous!!  
  
Usui: Really?  
  
Saito: Yeah, I used Paint!! The hell makes you think I got the money for Photoshop?!!  
  
Shishio: (slaps his own face in frustion) Nice going, d!ckhole.  
  
Audience: Oooooooooh.  
  
Saito: At least I still have mine since it wasn't melted off.  
  
Everyone: OOOOOOH!!  
  
Shishio: Hey, I almost killed you in our last fight!! Shut the hell up!  
  
Saito: With that attitude, I think I'll quit.  
  
Shishio: Fine, it'll give me a reason to kill you.  
  
Usui: Hey, ORDER, DAMMIT!!! ORDER NOW!!! (pounds) ORRRRRRRDERRRRR-  
  
Houji: We ARE in order. We're not even moving.  
  
Usui: Uhh, right. Well, continue please.  
  
Aoshi: Well, I would like to pull out my first surprise witness................... YUTARO!!!  
  
Everyone: (gasp)  
  
Yutaro: You can't pull a jury member onto the stand, jerk wad!!  
  
Aoshi: (slowly pulls out double kodachi's from the big single sheathe)  
  
Yutaro: (jumps into the witness stand)  
  
Usui: Alright. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?  
  
Yutaro: So long as the psycho keeps his knives away.  
  
Aoshi: Very well. Now, please describe in your own words.............. have you ever seen Battousai over there do any illegal acts of any kind?  
  
Yurato: Well, no actually. Oh, but this one time, I saw Yahiko naked!! Can I sue him for that?!  
  
Aoshi: Sue for whatever you like. But the point is, Battousai's a real nice-  
  
Yahiko: Hey, YOU WERE THE ONE BARGING INTO THE BATHROOM, RETARD!!  
  
Yutaro: I didn't see you make an attempt to cover yourself up, pervert!!  
  
Yahiko: (pulls out Kendo stick) Ya want me to bust your other arm, LEFTY?!!  
  
Yutaro: (busts out kendo stick as well) BRING IT ON!!  
  
Saito: Woo hooo!! CRIPPLE FIGHT!!  
  
(everyone placed various bets on which ever)  
  
Usui: ORDER!! ORDER!! (everyone settles) How does this in anyway help the case?  
  
Yutaro: I dunno. Alls I know is I'm richer than all of you people put together. (points to Tsubame) Now go get me something to drink, wench!!!  
  
Usui: (rubs head) I think I'll call a brief recess. I so need a drink badly. This is gonna take a while.  
  
~~ Recess!! In the bathroom, Saito is relieving himself on the urinal ~~  
  
Saito: (whistling "He Works Hard for the Money")  
  
Sano: (bangs open the door) HEY, YOU JERK!!  
  
Saito: Oh great.  
  
Sano: (comes over) I hope you're ready to lose!! Cuz we're gonna win!! (unzips, starts to go in the urinal next to Saito)  
  
Saito: (glares) Do you HAVE to use the stall closest to me!?  
  
Sano: (ignores) You just better hope you have a better surprise witness than Aoshi did!! You guys have no chance of winning!!  
  
Saito: All that happened was a cripple fight, you retard. Now leave me alone!! I can't pee if someone's watching me.  
  
Sano: Oh, I'll be watching you CLOSELY, so you don't try to trick us again!! (tries to stare at him intimidatingly, but ends up looking cock- eyed)  
  
Saito: ......................... okay, that's just creepy. Now get lost, I'm trying to pee here!!  
  
Kamatari: (skips in) Ohhhh, urinal gossip!! (stands next to Saito) Cool, I'm in!!  
  
Saito and Sano: (zip up, and leave)  
  
Kamatari: Aww, shucks.........  
  
Chou: (whistling "Milkshake", carrying a Mad magazine, notices Kamatari) Oh, you're here. (turns, leaves)  
  
Kamatari: (sigh) The price of being a distrustful homo..........  
  
~~ Recess is over!! Back in the court rooms!! ~~  
  
Kaoru: Yayeee, Kenshin!! Round two belongs to us!!  
  
Kenshin: I suppose it does, that it does, doesn't it, that it-  
  
Megumi: Please stop talking like that.  
  
Kenshin; Oh, okay. Degozarun.  
  
Kaoru and Megumi: (shakes head dismissively)  
  
Shishio: (passing by, holding his neck in pain) Ooowwwwwwwwww, hope you brought all your cash for my medical bills, Battousai!!  
  
Kenshin: I have no money and you know it, that you-  
  
Kaoru: (clamps hand over Kenshin's mouth)  
  
Shishio: BAA HAHA AAA!! That's what makes it so perfect!! If you can't pay up front right now, you get to be my slave!! All of you!!! (notices Sano) Except you, retard.  
  
Sano: Hey, I'm not retarded!! I MASTERED FUTAENOKIWAMI WITH ONE HAND IN ONE WEEK!!  
  
Shishio: Big deal. ONE HAND. Oooooooooh, SCARY!!  
  
Yumi: (smiles) Lord Shishio is DA BOMB!! (snuggles) Squeeze me!!  
  
Shishio: Later, ho. (turns back to Kenshin) Bwaaahah ahaha aahaaaa........ good luck, Battousai!! You'll need it!! Saito's got hard core evidence!!! KYA HAHA AHA AHAAAAAA......  
  
Yahiko: (after Shishio's left) ........... so, what do you think Saito's evidence is?  
  
Sano: Probably more gay porn with Kenshin's face on it.  
  
Kenshin: Orororo.....  
  
~~ Back in court ~~  
  
Usui: Alrighty!! Everyone have a nice recess?  
  
Saito: I would, if some idiot wasn't watching me go in the bath-  
  
Sano: Ah shaddup. I'm probably the only living thing that's checked you out in years. NOT THAT I WAS!! I was just psyching you out!!  
  
Saito: Yeah, way ta go, moron. (stands up, clears throat) Alright. For MY witness...... I call upon Chou, the Sword Hunter!!  
  
Soujiro: Kinda sounds like a Yu-Gi-Oh card, don't it?  
  
Anji: YUGIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-  
  
Shishio: (smacks him upside the head) Not now, wuss!!  
  
Anji: .................. (sniff sniff)  
  
Chou: Well, shoot!! Here I was all reckonin' I'm just gonna go russle me up some cattle-  
  
Saito: Just get in the stand, Chou.  
  
Chou: Alright, ya'll!! (I'm sorry to any southerners out there. He just had an accent, and I bring out accents a lot)  
  
Saito: Now then Chou. Tell the court just how badly Battousai-  
  
Kenshin: The least you people could do is call me by name, that you could-  
  
Saito: I could also give a cr@p, but I don't. (turns back to Chou) Anywho, can you point to the court exactly WHERE Battousai touched you?  
  
Everyone: NANI?!!  
  
Chou: (sniffles all fakey like, points to various 'no no' areas) Here.... and here, .. and oh, ESPECIALLY there....  
  
Kaoru: THAT'S CRAZY!! KENSHIN ISN'T GAY!!  
  
Chou: I know, he's a PERVERT!! He touched me there after I told him I had a rash!!  
  
Kenshin: I was just seeing how severe his condition was!! I didn't want Chou to get hurt or anything, that I didn't!!  
  
Saito: (turns to Kenshin) Oh sure, I bet you were checking out how SEVERE his red, naked BODY WAS TO YOU, PERVERT!! (points to Chou) You've emotionally scarred this man!! And you must be HANGED for it!!  
  
Chou: Uh actually, I kinda liked it.  
  
Everyone: ..........  
  
Saito: ........................ get out of the damn chair, you stupid f-ckin' ahou.  
  
Usui: Uhh, I don't get it. Does this mean court is adjourned?  
  
Shishio: GAH!! This is taking longer than necessary!! The moron who said justice is blind never knew Usui!!  
  
Usui: Hey!! (is blind, and therefore can't see he's yelling at Shishio in the wrong direction) I resent that!!  
  
Tae: Can we take another potty break?  
  
Usui: No. I've been drinking sake non-stop, and I'm surprised my liver hasn't exploded yet, but you don't see ME complaining for the potty!!  
  
Tae: But it's a ....... feminine problem!!  
  
Usui: So? Hold it in!!  
  
Saito: (rolls eyes, mumbled to Usui)  
  
Usui: (eyes pop out so big, you could see them behind the blindfold) AAAHH!!! FINE FINE, GET OUT OF HERE!!  
  
Tae: Thank you!! (skips out)  
  
Houji: Geez, what'd you tell Usui?  
  
Saito: I told him she was bleeding from down there. He didn't understand, so I told him her vagina was eating her from the inside out. Rare disease, highly contagious.  
  
Chou: YA RECKON?!!  
  
Saito: No, you IDIOT!! I just said it to- ahh, what's the use explaining it to you?!!  
  
Chou: (sniffle) You didn't gotta say it all mean like, ya'll....  
  
Yutaro: Hey, I got a feminine problem too!! Can I go?  
  
Everyone: (looks at him)  
  
Usui: (pounds gavel) Everyone get out of my sight for ten minutes, then get back in!! If I gotta spend another two hours STRAIGHT with you psychos, I'm gonna go nuts.  
  
Megumi: You're already nuts. You drink snake/women's blood.  
  
Sano: And you're blind. We're already gone from your sight-  
  
Usui: (pounds gavel) GET!!  
  
Everyone: (jumps up and leaves)  
  
**so sorry, I'll finish this cr@p next chapter. I SWEAR!!** 


End file.
